My good friend Nucky has gone the way of Elvis, a $20 dollar stake or a $200 ticket to a Falcons’ playoff game.
He has left the building.
Except in this case, the building is Facebook, and I’m pretty sure he’s on to something. In all probability, he’ll take a few of us with him.
You see, Nucky and all of his nonsensical writings, videos and photographs, to me, as one who looks to laugh along with anyone making an effort to provoke a smile, embodies one of the slots Facebook should occupy in our lives.
Apparently there are those who don’t think so. It’s hard to believe there are those who didn’t find a holiday Elf on a Shelf, posing in a provocative way that would make many a porn star blush, as worthy of their time.
Better to post political rants or opinions that are way off base than to show a picture of two boxers sleeping soundly by a fire, cigars in an ashtray and beer cans surrounding them, letting us know that his two canines are easing into their 2017 exercise program.
I’m with you Nucky. I don’t know how you’ve lasted eight years on Facebook. For me, I’m not walking away. I’m just going to be more selective, more apolitical and more discerning. Make sure to call and we can have a cigar and make some prank phone calls.
I have the power to “unfriend,” and I intend to exercise it. It’s like saying “I’m not speaking to you.” I’ll still like you, welcome your phone calls, send wedding, graduation and birthday gifts to you and your kids. I just choose to not have you clog up my mind.
Here are some Mike Tasos Facebook ground rules:
No politics, especially the national type. You either hate the new president or think he’s aces. I happen to be in the latter camp, but that’ll not be anywhere on what I write or what I read on Facebook. For those of you who insist on defiling my Facebook space with incessant, often inaccurate and misguided rhetoric, I am beginning the step-by-step process of “unfriending” you. Try this: Write a letter to the editor of your local paper. I’m sure your journalistic chops will shine through and your pithy comments will be published.
Don’t send me the latest hair-brained offer of how I can receive a Lear Jet if I type “like” in your message. I know of no one who has gotten anything free, be it an iPad, iPhone or eyeglasses via Facebook.
Keep sending dog pictures, whether they be lost, found or your friend. Ditto for a pet deer, bears in your backyard, snakes in your garden. If it doesn’t make me try to think critically, then I’m all in. One caveat though: Send me nothing you have bagged and will be taking to the taxidermist. A moose head on a wall, while a nifty place for coats and hats, is a waste of a good moose.
Thanks to the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Department, we are informed of road conditions, accident scenes and any other pertinent information that I appreciate.
At 61, I have come to the realizations that some folks I once knew are no longer with us. Classmates and teachers have gone to that big cafeteria food fight in the sky. Although painful, I appreciate knowing and having an opportunity to offer condolences.
And I feel special when I get included on birthdays, anniversaries and other accomplishments. To me almost anything is fair game. I’ll even give kudos to anyone who has destroyed the windmill during their foray into the world of miniature golf.
Finally, I want to tip my Fedora to my neighborhood HOA. There is a page that keeps us up-to-date. I’m sure every subdivision has a group of well-meaning, hard-working volunteers.
So that’s my Facebook Manifesto. It looks like social media is here to stay. And it’s going to get even more popular, especially in light of how the national mainstream media continues to gum things up.
There is a glaring disconnect there when it comes to what an everyday citizen sees as news when compared to national broadcasts or publications.
What do you think is more important to us here in Forsyth County: Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore (are they a couple? If not, they should be. But please, for the sake of all of us, no kids) or local high school sports?
Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes nonsense is a blip on the radar. By now few care. But my wife has a growing file full of Adlen Robinson’s recipes from the Forsyth County News.
So what matters to us?
Mike Tasos’ column is published every other Sunday. He doesn’t know how to use Twitter and thinks a hashtag has to do with the counterculture of the 1960s. Comments can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.